How to cease to be offended? Recipes for all occasions

Everyone knows how nasty scrape on his soul may be a cat, when we open the doors of his aunt, insult, as the green toad, a cold can it get into the far corner and turn it into a swamp. Let it easily, just kick harder. So maybe, once and for all to show who's boss?

There is resentment, as a rule, when the actions of others does not coincide with our expectations. They thought that they would support, but instead scolded. We wanted to help, and turned away from us. It was expected that appreciate and get indifference. Only some people are all different. What is natural for one, is not always an axiom for the other. And since we can not create a vacuum of their own kind and, therefore, affect the situation, then you need to change their attitude to it.

Let's first understand with our expectations. Where did they come from? Most often we just assume that someone is us that has to: a friend - support in trouble, a man - wearing a woman at the hands of the children - to help elderly parents. Yes, morals are necessary, but on the other hand you can not get their hostages.

For example, consider a situation familiar to all. My grandmother went into a crowded subway car, a place no one is inferior. What happens next? That's right, there is no limit disturbance, and green toad is chosen by his swamp. Another option is not time to enter my grandmother, as there's a man stood up and offered her a seat. And that - the joy? No, because the way it should be.

Now imagine for a moment: my grandmother did not know that someone has something to her due. The place is not lost. Will be hurt? No. And for someone to take offense panama retirement, if the car is full? As a joke, remember: "Gentlemen, that is, places, no?" Suddenly, a man stands up and offers to sit down. What is the reaction? But the real joy! After all, there were no signs.

So, the recipe number 1

Want to get rid of resentment, anger, disappointment - remember, no you do not have to. Try to recall some recent insult, lose the memory of that situation, but with the knowledge that you do not owe anybody. Well, still hurt? The more frequently practiced, the easier it will be obtained. And then will not even think that this may be offended.

Where there are more insults? From our habits paint all emotional, and sometimes exaggerated, dramatized. For example, the head fell to his subordinate, and even in the presence of colleagues. What's in the mind of the aggrieved employee? "What he was entitled to raise his voice at me, and even at all?! He humiliated me, insulted! "And if we ignore all emotions and just dry state the facts - what happened? Head loudly talking to subordinates, stood next to people. It is not so offensive?

At the boss, maybe in his mind was not to humiliate the employee. Just do it first and then thinks, moreover, can not control their emotions. And this is his problem, if he understands them. And then remember the recipe number 1? He does not have to worry about the feelings of their subordinates. It's his choice. And we have our own.

Remember the prescription number 2

Discard all the emotions that divide the event into several small and see what happens in the dry residue. Usually it is completely neutral action, which offended some and not serious. Try to play so even some resentment. Practice, practice and more practice.

Recipe № 3

Similar to the previous one. It is also necessary to discard their emotions and companion, and even stock up on virtual translator. For example, if in the crowd someone threw you after "Where Presov!", You must set the drive mode from boorish to intelligent. Then get something like "Excuse me, but it was my leg and I'm very hurt." What are offended? Alternatively, you can sympathize.

Recipe № 4

If you respond to the grievance sarcastic remarks about you, it's time to recall the famous phrase "If you want to avoid criticism - do nothing, say nothing and be nobody portsmouth dominica." So that the same taunt - probably a sign that you do not stand in place and achieved something in life. And the higher you will climb, the more successful will become, the more you hear criticism. And the offense is not that proud of yourself!

In the same situation will help the recipe number 5

Just imagine that your offenders - young children. They want to annoy you, or to attract attention. Will the children be offended? You're an adult. Do not you seem to be trying their fun and funny?