Coaching Little Kids: Lessons Learned
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I can’t emphasize enough how important coaches are to little kids. Most adults can remember every teacher and coach they ever had as a child, and lessons learned from all of them.
The goal of any coach in youth sports should be to make sure the lessons are positive ones and that the kids remember them for the right reasons. I have been coaching kids since I was in college almost 25 years ago, and over the years I picked up a few things about coaching that I think are important.
The first thing I learned was that I was not a professional coach — I was just a dad pretending to be one. That is a very necessary and important thing to have a grasp of.
I found that if I watched and listened to the parents and other coaches and tried to learn something (instead of thinking I already knew everything there was to know about coaching) things were a lot better for the kids.
The second thing I learned was that just about everyone thinks they are an expert on sports and coaching kids; therefore, they also probably think they know more than you and could do a better job (in my case, they were probably right). As I said earlier, it’s a good idea to listen to all the parents, but they are not always right.
Another thing I learned was that you cannot treat a 6-year-old child the same way you were coached by your legendary high school or college coach. For many of us, the last time we were in the presence of an actual real-life coach was high school or college, and there is a tendency to try to do things the same way.
Things that are age-appropriate for 17-year-olds tend not to translate well to first-graders. You have to resist using the sort of ridiculous coaching aphorisms that might make sense to a 17-year-old but not a kindergartner.
For example, yelling and screaming things like “you don’t want it bad enough” or some such nonsense at a first- or second-grader. You know, the truth is that they probably really don’t want it that bad … certainly not as much as you or their parents do. Probably what they really want is to be at home digging in a dirt pile or something — anywhere away from the mean, screaming man.
Remember, we want these kids to like playing ball and keep on playing it. We want to get them away from the Nintendos and PlayStations for a little while, out in the fresh air getting some healthy, fun activity. They aren’t training to be Navy SEALS.
Probably the hardest thing I learned was that if you are coaching and your kid is on the team, you have to treat him exactly the same as all the other kids. That is not easy to do, and I have struggled with it. As a parent, you tend to watch everything your kid does like a hawk — and respond to mistakes perhaps a bit more harshly than you would the other kids.
I remember once in a practice my son missed a routine ground ball. I proceeded to hit him about 10 in a row, each one harder than the ones I had hit all the other kids. I was frustrated with him, and goodness only knows what he was thinking about me right then. After practice I felt horrible, and resolved to never do that again. I can’t remember if I apologized to him, but I should have. Since then, I have seen other coaches do similar things and worse with their kids.
The rule of thumb should be that when you set foot on the field as a coach, the parent cap comes off. They are all your players. Treat them all the same.
Probably the most important thing I learned was that just because a kid is not a very talented player when he is 5 or 6, it doesn’t mean he will not be very good when he grows some. And just because a kid is a “stud” in T-ball (yes, I have actually heard coaches refer to 5-year-olds as “studs”), doesn’t mean squat.
A very, very small percentage of kids in any sport will ever set foot upon a college or professional field, and many of those who do will be “late bloomers.” Don’t give up on a kid just because they aren’t very skilled in elementary school, and don’t assume the 2007 T-Ball All Star Team is a preview of the 2018 Clinton High School varsity squad, either.
A lot of things can happen between T-ball and the glory of the professional or college diamond.
Washam is a professor and Chair of the Mississippi College department of Kinesiology.
